Life Lessons

Life is a wonderful gift. It turns out complete waste if you keep complaining more than living it to its fullest. Nobody and nothing in this world has a perfect journey. At some point one has to experience the situations that you pray not to occur to anybody. But that does not mean you stop living. You fall but that teaches you how to stand; you pray GOD and you feel your prayers are not answered but that helps you make yourself more stronger and independent; your love and trust gets broken but that opens a new path to meet a better person who you deserve; your friends get parted but does not limit you on making new ones. People move on and life goes on.

Start treasuring the best ones who supported you and loved you throughout your life; they are your HEROES and whom you should look up to. Always remember the most important thing is you having someone whom you love and who loves you. Feel lucky.

Now-a-days, people are selfish and cruel. It is not their fault. The world around us is so much on rush that it makes them so. These "I" centered individuals keep making fun and dominating "WE" centered individuals. Ironically the former wins the professional race than the latter. But the interesting fact shows that the former loses the race on personal and family happiness index. At the end what matters most is "Family"; "Happiness" and "Self-Satisfaction". 

For earning self-satisfaction always remember the kind words shared by Chico Xavier "Though nobody can go back and make a new beginning; anyone can start over and make a new ending". So, if you are not satisfied with the results, start over again and avoid repeating the same mistakes again. 

People say that life would be very boring if it was perfect and without mistakes. I agree but it is worth noting that the mistakes you make should never hurt any innocent. As much as you value yourself, value others and automatically your life will be filled with wonders. Always feel good about yourself, pamper and gift yourself whenever you feel like and always think positive. Life is too short to ponder on negative stuff and mistakes.

Happy Living!! 

Defining Success

People define success in many ways; as per their convenience. And when we try to track ourselves on how successful we are in certain field, we get highly confused. For me, there are lots of factor that contribute and exhibit the level of success we are heading at.

"Success" literally means "the accomplishment of an aim or purpose". I think any accomplishment could be evaluated in terms of emotional, mental and physical output. Some can be calculated while the others can just be felt and observed.

At every step of our life, knowingly and unknowingly, we have an ideal image of a successful person that we want to be like. At some point, if we fail to attain that image, we feel disappointed. But it is out of ignorance that we mislead ourselves. Because we are aiming the wrong aim; we are setting a wrong goal for ourselves.

Let me put this the other way round. There is no such person who can be termed as "Unsuccessful" if s/he is contributing her/his effort and time on it. If you do not devote yourself in any task; then you do not lie under the criteria to be evaluated for rating your success. It is a very simple process. According to my review on people whom I refer as successful, if you want to reach that level then 

1. you have to be fully (100%) involved in what you do.

2. you have to do your best unless you yourself are satisfied with the attained result. If you are not satisfied, redo it, take expert opinion and do not hesitate to ask for help.

3. you have to have an ability to uplift others, support others in need, share your expertise and ideas, document and share your success. 

4. you have to stop making excuses and blaming others for not achieving your part of goal.

5. you have to have both team spirit and individuality to work on your subject.

6. you have to have patience. Rejection does not mean you have failed. It just means you tried your best but someone just worked a step harder than you did. Success does not come overnight.

7. list out 5 people who would be interested and happy to help you in each task. Make sure they know that you have selected them as "Guarding Angels" and never miss giving them credit when you achieve your success.

These factors contribute to succeed our physical output, which can be evaluated as per our need. But does the success in the physical output contribute to our emotional and mental output. May be or may not be. 

The majors factors that contribute to succeed our emotional and mental output are happiness, positivism, mental peace, creativity and sound sleep. These, however, could not be measured. But it does contribute a lot in attaining physical output and having a happy and balanced life.

So many people are much focused on success at work, that they end up neglecting the most important part of their life; their family and themselves. Work is a part of life. Work involving both fun and family gives it a life and value; and that is what drives you towards success. As Albert Einstein has put it together, "Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value".

I have met a lot of people who know how to advocate themselves to show how successful they are. It is great in the field of entertainment and advertisement; but when you are dealing with critical subject matters and using their story to make personal profit for yourself; it is not a right thing to portray. 

I have also seen people who use others to reach their goal. After attaining that goal, after reaching success (as per what they say), they start picking on their supporter, bossing around, treat them badly, never give them credit for what they have done and still expect a positive response. Duh! Hilarious. If the supporters are dumb enough to support such douche-bag again, the supporters will actually not be able to succeed on attaining their own success. So, there should be a clear demarcation on your list of "Guarding Angels" and the list of people whom you want to guard as an angel.     

Success does matter and the success of the person whom you guard matters the most. When you are guarding someone for success, you should as well succeed on attaining emotional and mental output and self-satisfaction. If that is missing and you feel that your effort is being wasted then STOP. Saying "NO" to someone is not a wrong thing to do. Sometimes it makes you feel great and help you concentrate on attaining your own aim for success, giving you much more power to value yourself and your self-esteem.    

Quality control

When talking about quality control, the first thing that comes on my mind is the responsibility. If I complete my part of responsibility and you complete yours; and then in aggregate if some expert put their view on it for the thumbs up or thumbs down; the process of quality control would be checked.

We talk the talk about big stuff on quality management system and quality control and when it comes to act on it, everyone vanishes in thin air. Suddenly there is no budget for quality control; everyone becomes so busy with meetings, reporting, field work, deadlines that they do not give a damn about the quality control unless at the end of the project term when you urgently need to make sure that your work estimate is going on as planned. Then you suddenly remember the system out of blue and want it done in no time.

I wonder why people do act and start working when the deadline approaches and give no damn concern until they have enough time.

If you ask me why do we need to bother about quality management system? The simple answer would be: because we need to bother about realistic results and transparent documentation. None of the projects do better than expected and hardly do achieve the realistic scenario. And most of the projects go horrifically wrong, just achieving the numbers and not the actual motive of sustainability.

If there is no system and you conduct a quality check with minimal documentation, what would you expect? Definitely a negative numbering with higher risk of failure. And you can not complain the person who conducts quality control for not searching enough data and documents. It is a complete state of panic sometimes when you start searching for records which is just a year old. Imagine searching past records since the start of the organization. Drop down dead!

However, it is never too late to start afresh. At least having something to record is better than having nothing at all. But the crucial part is the understanding of the urgency of such systems within the organization and how seriously the seniors and board of members prioritize it for implementation. 

Seeking Advice from Experts is better than via Internet

There are huge lot of overloaded information in the world. And you have internet to access over it. However, it is difficult to make confirmation on better and genuine ones.

I extract information via internet most of the times when I get confused while working on certain topic; may it be related to my job or my personal interest. But particularly when it comes to get advice on health and medicines, I would suggest to consult doctors and experts rather than the internet. Saving a few penny and name can cost you your life.

The thought passed over on to me when I heard that a teenager got pregnant and tried to abort her pregnancy via internet information. She was compelled in doing so since she did not want her parents and relatives to know about it. To avoid shame and blame, she took the risk on her own hands.

What is being done can not be undone. Trust your parents more and make at least one of your family members your secret keeper. That way, you will have your strength and back supported all the time. Only trust the ones who are trustworthy. And internet is hardly the one you should trust and rely on. However, it is a good source to get advise now and then to cross check your findings.

I have three secret keepers, my MOM, my sister and my husband. They know everything about me; every trauma I go through; every happiness and joyful moments of my life; my dirtiest jokes; my darkest secrets; the time when I am the best of ME as well as the worst of Me. I keep no secrets with them. I choose them to be my secret keepers because I trust them; I know they are always there for me; we love each others company; we disagree on topics and find solutions to agree on; we respect each others space; and give time and patience to know and understand each other.

Life is never an easy journey. It comes with lots of ups and downs and you meet people who are either supportive towards you or take advantage of you. Always trust your instinct and before taking any serious step, never forget to seek advice from your secret keeper. If you doubt the advice, always consult with an expert.

Writing Tips!

I have always struggled hard while writing; may it be an article, report, poem or story. This has been so since the beginning when I started writing as my hobby at 12 years of age. In my head, I know the theme and concept; but starting the initial sentence has never come easy.

Sometimes strong emotions, pain, sensitivity and a simple gesture of kindness are enough to start few lines of a stanza in a poem; which can be imaginary, fiction, based on fact or life experience. This makes it easy to complete a poem if it flows with your thought process. However, this has never been the same for me in the case of writing article, report and poem. Sometimes it takes a month or two to start and sometimes it crosses the limit of a year; making me drop the entire theme and concept.

I hope I am not the only one having to face such a challenge.

Thanx to Bill Wasik who provided an insight on the importance of having a well thought and precise outline before starting anything. He put it very well by saying, "Hone your outline and then cling to it as a lifeline. You can adjust it in mid-stream, but don’t try to just write your way into a better structure: think about the right structure and then write to it. Your outline will get you through those periods when you can’t possibly imagine ever finishing the damn thing — at those times, your outline will let you see it as a sequence of manageable 1,000 word sections."

Another good set of advice that I found in "Henry Miller on Writing" which soothed me more than anything else was the work schedule of Henry Miller himself. The 11 commandments expressed below were the basic for me to focus more on my work than to get diluted and divergent. 
"1. Work on one thing at a time until finished
2. Start no more new books, add no more new material to Black Spring
3. Don't be nervous. Work calmly, joyously, recklessly on whatever is in hand
4. Work according to Program and not according to mood. Stop at the appointed time!
5. When you can't create you can work
6. Cement a little every day, rather than add new fertilizers
7. Keep human! See people, go places, drink if you feel like it
8. Don't be a draught-horse! Work with pleasure only
9. Discard the Program when you feel like it - but go back to it next day. Concentrate. Narrow down. Exclude
10. Forget the books you want to write. Think only of the book you are writing 
11. Write first and always. Painting, music, friends, cinema, all these come afterwards

If you have experienced any challenges on writing and various tips you use to overcome it, do share :)

Learning with Enjoyment

It is said that Kinesthetic Learning is the best way to make someone learn quicker, building practical understanding. ENPHO organized retreat from 14th-15th November 2014 for refreshment of its staff where learning with enjoyment and practical knowledgeable games were the key focus.

During the starting of the session, facilitator Mr. Raman Nepali warned everyone that time is very crucial and it flies away just like that when we are having fun. So, he urged  us to capture that time, save it in our minds and souls and utilize it wherever and whenever possible. The time, indeed, flied as a fraction of a second and at the end we were like, "Are we already done?" The sessions were full of energy; lots of mind soothing meditation, soul refreshing meditation & exercises and body/ mind building games. The days were packed with never ending energy and night with never ending party. It looked as if everybody was HIGH and at the TOP OF THE WORLD.

The most amazing thing about this retreat, among all the others we had so far, was the facilitator was being a part of us rather than an alien. And we were made comfortable to be flexible and creative in our own ways. For me, I had a freedom to laugh and relax with no other things to worry about, which I loved the most :)

I think the sessions made everyone realize that 1) "Life Is Beautiful" and 2) never forget to "THANK" everyone, including yourself for this precious life. There are hardship in every step, there are challenges everyone have to face, sadness that no one can run from and partition with the most closest ones at one time of your life (tragedy). And during such times, we break apart. But we forget to understand that such times arrive to teach us the unforgettable lessons; the life long lessons. Running away should never be an option. Take up the challenge, failure does not matter. What matters is you tried.

The games we played were more emphasized on team work, team building, leadership, creativity, 4 levels of trust, communication, strategic planning and more importantly learning/ working with enjoyment. It was a never forgetting experience. Heartily gratitude to ENPHO and Mr. Raman Nepali. *Clap 7 times* YES!!

Students Feel Much Safer at School than at their Homes

According to Forbes Magazine (2008), Kathmandu valley topped the list of 21 cities with 69,000 potential deaths, ahead of Istanbul and New Delhi. However, the communication sets have been brought in use to immediately collect incident details of disaster prone area and reach out relief materials by rescuing possible victims as said by the Nepal Red Cross Society, Bhaktapur.

With the growing concern on earthquake prone disaster and its effect on the most vulnerable population, particularly the school children and girls; schools of Nagarkot have commenced taking tangible actions. Shree Kalika Seconday School located at Nagarkot-6, established in 2017, is one of the 3 public schools of Nagarkot which have successfully implemented earthquake resistant building along with effective trainings on DRR and First Aid without any external social conflict among the total 6 schools within the VDC. 

According to the school principal Mr. Madhu Ram Thapa, “With the growing concern on the effect of Earthquake, the Department of Education (DoE) have been showing strong interest and budget segregation on constructing earthquake resistant infrastructures at the schools. Our school proposed for the same and we got selected in 2071. Financial support of NRs 22 lakhs by the DoE and technical support by the team of engineers from NSET and Nepal Red Cross Society have made it possible on completing the disaster resistant school building. According to the technical engineers, it has been guaranteed that earthquake of even 8 Richter scale can do no harm to the school building.”

Mr. Jaya Ram Dahal, focal person for Disaster Risk Reduction (DRR) have been appointed for the overall training on DRR and First Aid for the teachers and students of the schools for 2 years. It has been informed that Mr. Dahal has received 7 days extensive training on DRR planning from Red Cross Nepal and the school have drafted the future plan for the school on handling the unexpected disaster events. The school having 236 students with almost 62% girls are more concerned towards the most vulnerable groups. It has been confirmed that the most vulnerable groups from grade 1-5 feel much safer at schools than at their respective homes.

It has been observed that the school has been equipped with basic DRR tools such as stretchers, safety met and first aid kits. The school has already established Junior Red Cross Circle in 2067 with student rescue committee of 10 members. Each year this committee gets reformed and re-oriented. Almost all the students practice what to be done during the emergency situation for rescue once in every two months; especially the three steps of Duck, Cover and Hold during the earthquake.

Apart from students and teachers, school assistants like Mrs. Tirtha Maya Tamang have also been trained about DRR and first aid. Mrs. Tamang says, “I am confident on search and rescue during the disaster events. I have been trained twice and I even know how to use first aid during emergency.” When asked whether she feels burdened after getting an additional task for her apart from her usual job, she replied, “I am blessed to know how to save others’ lives and it is always good to do something for others who are in need.”

The school have been working on finalizing disaster response plan, organizing orientation for implementation of the plan; parents oriented, and fund raising for simple treatment. There are still few areas for improvement which the teachers have already realized and planning to work on. These include earthquake resistant friendly windows and doors; disable friendly infrastructure and community sensitization on DRR.